free

it was totally a blast yesterday and probably one of the worst day i had in months before...still, i did not give up things that needs to be done today, eventhough it was so hard, i hanged on to what i was doing...i spent my day doing what i would usually have my full concentration to it, cooking...no doubt that in between, there were pauses where i felt like my heart is doing multiple sommersaults within...i pressed on, continue doing what i am doing....in the end, everything turned out the way it should be and in fact i finished much faster and better then any of the times before...the mood to eat is just not there....but well, at least my family appreciated them...within me, boredom took over me almost from the start of my day but after dinner, unexpectedly i had plans to at least hang out with my friends...and while i was driving i reviewed those things i read in the book, even you feel sad, as long as you are willing to carve that smile to your face regardless how hard is it and as long as you made an effort to it, the pain will somehow be lifted bit by bit...

it is very true that no matter what promises made, no matter what is said or no matter what she is doing or going to do has nothing to with me at all, not even a bit of it concerns me and anything about me has nothing to do with her as well and she too is never gonna know whats happening and how am i feeling right now...she is in her own path with her own life and me with my own....i tried to somehow linked mine to her all these while, but then it never work even once...so actually, if i were to continue dwelling in the past, probably there is going to be no end to it and i am never going to be happy and never going to truly move on with my life, ever....letting go, forget everything, keep everything that has anything to do with her within, embrace those happy moments but yet remembering the pain it brought can actually make me feel so free like never before...actually, that test i had gone through yesterday is not over yet and today, i think i didnt fail that test, in fact, i know im moving much closer to getting full marks, its just a matter of time and the practice of mind....but yes....i will never forget you....