people always says, what goes around comes around...well, people who doesnt really encounter matters related to this saying, would not really understand what it truly meant...i couldnt say that i understand, because for us, no one is perfect and no one is the same and each and every single matter in this world has different sides, angles and perspectives...BUT can anyone give me an answer to this, is it a MUST for something that comes to go/leave?
in order to gain something, you have to lose something...its just that everytime when we evaluate matters, we tend to only see what we will gain but is that what it is all about? to me, i dont think so, right now i only sees what i have lost but yet it doesnt mean that i dont realised what i have gained...and of course, we CANNOT have it all...it is almost impossible that a person only gains but never lose anything...
I taught i had everything i wanted half a year ago...but now that i have realised, actually, the feeling of owning everything i wanted is a sign telling me, something will have to go, very very soon...many of you would be wondering why i said this...it is because, in my whole entire life, i never had this feeling until Jan 2008...i had a bunch of old friends, im meeting alot of new college friends, my existing friends are becoming my close friends, i can do what i wanted, go where i wanted, im keeping up with my studies better than ever before, my life were never this interesting, everyday's schedule is filled, do things which is enjoyed most...but i did not foresee one thing...my time was taken and filled with other things...and all those times taken, previously belonged to a person beside me who tends to share a heart with me...at that moment, i taught im gaining more and more things, everything that i wanted, but something is also moving further and further away from me...its not something is i want...its not something that i expected...its not something that is meant to happen...but yes, it happened...i lost something that im nurturing for the past two yrs...she choose to leave...i did so many things to bring her back...and in the process of it, one by one, things that i gained is escaping my grip, studies screwed up, reputation thrown down the drain...each and everything in my life just freaking escaping my grip...or maybe, i choose to let go all those things...but its just today, i know that even im able to get her back, it can never be the same and whatever that left will never come back...but it will always remain as the greatest regret of my life...
this is a cycle, we are living in it...at 12pm the sun is right on top of your head but the next 12 hours, the sun is under your feet...you dont see it, you dont notice it, you dont know it, you arent the one controlling it BUT ITS HAPPENING whether you like it or not...but one thing you can do to make a slight difference, take note of everything that happens around you...each and every second of it...dont be blinded by things, people or matters happening around you...make sure you know and realise every changes that is happening before its all gone before your very eyes and your did not realise it and you arent able to accept it...dont ever let that happen to you...its hard...but its still possible...live with an open heart...do not be afraid that your gonna lose something when you do it because the truth is, only by opening your heart to the world and people around you, only your able to let more things come to you...
life without regrets is a lie! but destiny is on your own palms...all we can at least do is...whenever we have a choice or decision to make...make sure we choose the decision to bring out the best in yourself and to people around you...
~hweekoon~
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