fallen

thank u shean and simon for giving me a great time...its been long since i last had fun with games like that...if im not mistaken, its during i was form 4 where i truly enjoyed playing games with friends...dont get me wrongly, when i were playing with you guys, deep down inside me, im thinking bout her and missing the times where i played games with her...pls do not think that what you guys done for me and the times i guys gave me is not as good as her...but just...one thing links to another and the times i had with you guys and her is totally a different thing...and yeah....i reli enjoyed...and shean...at that moment when you said lets play again some other time, my heart leapt...i dunno when that time would be...i dunno how long would i have to wait for that time to come...i so wished that you could just come back anytime and just play with us again...and again, things dont always go the way you wanted...yeah, everything that comes has to go and everything that started has to end...this is a cycle, we cannot run from it, all we can do is just look at it in a different way...every ending might not always be the end at all as it is the process of getting to a new beginning...

opening that cupboard once again is so painful...this is the second time where tears failed me again...i didnt expect that, reading back each word...its just so painful...i never never taught i would come to this day...i never expected something so strong would still break...never taught such deep feelings would just vanish...everything is just like a dream...an interesting, happy, sweet and painful dream...it feels like only yesterday im together with her...it feels like 2 yrs is gone in a blink of the eyes...everything ENDED...today's battle is a total loss...but the battle goes on, new battle tmr, new challenges to face...at the very end, its still up to me, alone...i have to walk through this myself...i dunno what comes next...but i hope every day that goes by is getting me nearer to the exit of this tiring and painful path...