its never easy

its been months already...but i cant really seem to defend myself towards these emotion thingy...it kept hitting me again and again and i doubt it would ever stop coming back...maybe it was because it was just the 2nd day im back to college...there are new challenges and i just couldnt find a way to fight it, YET....its a bad day...and yeah...you just wanna turn it around, sing a sad song and go for a ride and hope it blows it all away...but it still comes back the next day...things just doesnt go the way you wanted them to be...

the phone reminds me of so many things...each time picking it up it just feels different...the person and the number that it used call and the first to be on top of the list...is no longer there...sometimes its just...picking it up...but not knowing why i picked it up...actually, it is all a routine...a routine which takes time to change it to something else...nothing is easy...and this...is the hardest thing i ever fought...you youself is the worst enemy of yourself but being able to take over it would only bring great rewards beyond...