a fruitless tree

my day today is busy but it is all empty within...its 24th of august already...in another 2 hours, its gonna be the 25th...for the past 2 years, on this date, at this particular time, i were on the phone with her talking, joking, sharing our day with each other...but two years later, today? im all alone, sitting here, doing nothing, feeling empty and lost...the pain is so intense...especially today...i really have no idea how tomorrow would feel...and i dont think im ready for it...

i cooked for my family today, its a busy day...but why i choose to cook? why today? the reason is simple, cooking can somehow distract me alot rather than spending my day doing something else...still, when i was cooking, flashes of memories came by my mind....im wondering, how happy she would be if she were to see the cake i made....im sure shes gonna like it...but it is just a perception, a taught, i can never know the answer to it...

why is a tree called a fruitless tree? of course the answer would be, it is a tree that once had fruits hanging to its branches but not anymore...a tree grow, mature and bear fruits, the fruit ripens and fell on the ground below and in the end the fruit rot on the ground, provide nutrients to the soil and obsorbed by the tree again....it is a perfect picture of life...i were on the stage where the tree bears the fruit, being so naive, i never taught that the fruit will one day fell from the branches...but i realise, no matter how i dont want it to happen, i still wont be able to stop it...i came to know that once a fruit fell from a branch of the tree, there will never be a second fruit growing on the same branch ever again...the fruit i treasured most fell off the ground and i am just able to watch it rot...and that branch of my heart is left-----------fruitless...