part two

back home...feeling so tired and pissed with the ktm which caused me to reach home 2 hours later than expected...

today, i had done so many things...not in terms of work...but in terms of effort to mend what needs to...i did what people is suggesting me to do...smile, talk to people and be friendly...i tried...it might be as easy to anyone, but just not me...im able to talk about anything and be as friendly and all, but only to my close friends...i was proud of myself today...i tried putting down everything that is on my shoulder and gather all the courage to talk to them...and it is not too bad...when you want it to happen and you want to do it...it will definately happen...

why is there two posts? it is because i know, after reading her mail, the feeling will be different...i felt so pain suddenly...theres going to be a group trip going on to langkawi...but i aint joining them...of all places, why langkawi? i swore that i will never ever go to that place to anyone besides her unless it is my wife...sometimes things just get very coincident....shes finishing her training already...and i know that once she is done with it, i would not be receiving any emails from her anymore...if nothing changes, im sure that theres going to be plans during her holidays(that is IF im still with her)...and it is all because of what happened, happy events, dates or particular period which is supposed to be happening and happy turned to be lonely and endless pain...

yet again, theres alot of posibilities...theres alot of "IF" in our lives...what IF im smarter, what IF im richer, what IF IF IF...........but we left out one thing....when one thing changes to another, every single thing in our lives changes alongside too and something will come together with it that we might not like it at all...what happened has happened and it happened for a reason and whatever happened, our history, is the reason of what we have today...i always always believe one thing, regardless of what others might think or say...as long as i do my part the best i could and do nothing bad to others even though people did that to me, i believe that there would be more good-ness coming to me...c'est ma vie!!!