reasoning after perception

out of a sudden, with all the things going on, projects, assignments, homework, presentations, baking, clock is ticking extremely fast without mercy, im moving with the flow but my feelings somehow just couldnt keep up...there are so many interesting elements in my life now, truly what i wanted before this and i am happy most of the time now, but when everything slows down, it will once again flow back, flooding me with it, the past........

when i was so busy baking and trying to fight time, my phone is right there on the table, looking at it each time, wondering whats wrong with it...it used to beep continuously with sms-es, phone calls from time to time, sweet, encouraging words all coming from the very same phone...i still remember, whenever im busy baking something, the reason im fighting time is not because of assignments or getting rest but attending to something much important to me-within...back there, i had the elixir of love to do anything, to cope and face anything at all...it is never ending, it will never stop flowing and it seemed to have infinity flow of it...right now, without it, it might seem that its no big deal but then at times, where you really need it, you will know the importance of it...its something so amazing that no one can truly know what miracles it can bring to us...at times, we often say why we dont know why we are doing so much for the person we love, ppl say they are blinded by love BUT----- perception towards that particular person in our inner selves is the answer...from that very second where you perceives that he/she is the one, there goes, everything that she does, will seem good to you no matter what people say or comment about it but if theres one person where you perceived as a bad person, every single thing he/she does is just wrong...from the second that she choose not to love me anymore, she can say anything or give any reasons but that was not the answer to it, the answer is simple, her innerself already decided to leave...we always think and guess and be puzzled and stucked there with what happened or what is said, we always sees the fruit but we never ever realised the roots beneath...what happens today is not important, i shall not question why this all happened, but from now onwards i will only ask myself on how to have a better and solid foundation if i had the chance once more, now, or the future...my heart deep within just feels like its in a deep and dense forest, filled with snow and bone cracking wind blowing non stop...