dream realized in dream

i slept for 14hours...i didnt want to get up...i was so darn tired yesterday night, missing her greatly at the same time, i was hoping and imagining, how comfortable and happy i would be if shes right beside me, watching me sleep...

i knew that tonight's dream, i will be seeing her...true enough, i dreamt about her, everything seemed so real, i was half awake, with my consciousness, im aware of every single detail in the dream i had, and it didnt seem like a dream to me, as partially, im in total control of myself and my doings and i even remembered each and every word i said in the dream...she came back to me, apologised, and told me that i was the one who she truly needed and love, she told me she was never as happy with him compared to the time we were together...i went around town, everything is so damn real, i felt so happy, even i got up in the middle of the night to turn the aircond off cuz it was too cold, i was conscious and i fell back to the same spot of the dream where i left it minutes ago and i was aware that, this is all a dream, i was aware that if i were to get up now, it will all be gone...

but in the end, the scenes all changed, someone hit me and ran away, i was so in rage, i went after that guy, chasing him, cursing him, wanting so badly to catch him and wack him up, in the end, i caught up to him and i hit him, but in the end, i was the one badly beaten, to that moment, i dont feel the pain, but amazingly, i was aware of whats going on in the dream, i knew this is a dream so no matter what i do, i will get away with it...at that moment where i fell on the floor, badly beaten up, i told myself, time to get up and true enough, the next second, i was awake, lying on my bed, looking at the fan spinning on top...it was a dream come true, in my dreams...i didnt want to get up, but i think for whatever reason i had this dream, something is telling me, giving me hints through the scenes at the end of the dream...i came to understand that, yes, when we lose something so important to us, we will definately do whatever it takes to chase it back, get it back, and during the chase, we tend to think that if im able to catch up, everything will change and be back to the way it is, but then, it is not always that way, sometimes, even we are able to get back what we have lost, after all, it might not be something that we truly want....while chasing that guy in the dream, i wanted to beat him up so badly, but then, when i caught him, it was the other way round...

i was such in a bad mood, all i wanted to do was to lie down there for the rest of the day doing nothing...the feeling of being with her is so close, so real as though its really happening and the amazing thing about it is that im aware of it! this is the first time ever for having a dream where im in control of myself and aware of every single thing that happened in it...in the end, i got up, telling myself, i had this dream for a reason...god is trying to hint me something...and i think i got it...that is why, no matter how much pain i had to suit my emotions to the reality once again, i will have to face it...well, we shall see how this day will end...

p.s my heart will forever be partially owned by you, baby, i love you