its my choice

things were so screwed up today, mostly everything went wrong...i couldnt find my friend's camera in the morning, having bad headache, my cake screwed up, i was late for badminton, i had even more headache, i was late meeting my friend, i ffk my friend for the second time, i forgot i had something to do tmr and i promised my friend to attend some gathering...what the hell is wrong?

i went to cheras today, to meet my old friend...the moment i reached the toll, everything started to come back, along the way and throughout the time i was on the road, everything in the past was like a flash player...flashes after flashes of her came to picture in my mind one after another...seriously, this is the worst so far...even the previous time i went back there, it wasnt this bad...i seriously had the whole 2 yrs of memories coming back to me for that 4 hours....how can i forget? it has been 7 months already...but then, all those memories i had in the area i went is just craved too deep within me, i was unable to even fight it abit and i just dropped to my knees...alot of things has changed in the area, the houses, the roads, shops and almost everything...and some of them, which i had deep memories of is no longer there...the only thing that hasnt change is me, and my feelings...the same heart broken feeling....the same feelings i had back then whenever i head down to her house...the eagerness of seeing that smile of hers still exists even though its not gonna happen anymore...but what can i bloody do?...she was my choice...i had no one to blame but myself...this is all the consequences of the chosen path that is a must to go through right now...i really wanna leave this place for good and really persue my dream...if i were to stay, its going to be damn hard to achieve what i want...i just hope all my plans works well and i can get out of here for good...and find a brand new life in a brand new place...but then, till now, im still willing to give up every single thing i had now in return of her coming back to me...anything at all...in this world, there is only one person whom i will do anything for at any cost is her, magdeline tan jia wen...and no one else...i dont know when or even whether it will change...but i just really want her to know and see, she is missing out something that really does mean something to her...i just want her to really see what are my feelings for her...BUT SHE WILL NEVER KNOW AND FIND OUT!!! THATS THE SOLID FACT!!!I WILL NEVER EVER MEAN ANYTHING TO HER EVER AGAIN!!!