lucky

i have been lucky all my life...ever since i existed in this world...on the year that i was born, my family shifted to new house, bought new car...i often get the things that i wanted without fail with a way or another...till the day i went to kindergarden, i had all the things...

primary school, i went to the so called good school without any difficulty comapred to my brother's time...i suck in studies, im good for nothing and i never managed to pass my mathematics most of the time, but in the end, when i was standard 4, everything changed, my teacher changed everything, and ever since, my studying history did a sommersault, same goes to standard 5 and then 6, UPSR, no one in my family ever dreamt that i could even get 2As but miraculously, i got 4, its nothing great to brag about but to my family and friends, it was a shock, but to me, it was all luck, luck has been with me all these while...

Secondary school, again, i got in to the so called good school without any difficulties whereby others were trying to change from other schools to mine...again, my results were never good...year by year i got through it each time barely passing...form 3 came...i tried my best, i didnt want to be left out, all my other friends were so good, they were in the first class and all...and PMR will decide whether they will be even further from me or a chance to be closer to them as they are definately going to be in the science classes, i struggled hard, in the end, again, none of my family members would never guessed that i would get such results, i was someone who needs scolding each time during exams unlike my brother and sister, again, luck was with me, i got closer to my friends...and since then, everything kept changing for the better, my results never got this good, form 5 came...although with struggles along the way, luck came by once again to get me through this one more time, i still remember, one week before my SPM, i was studying hard, but theres too much to study, i put those books all away, i closed my eyes and i hoped, i wished that luck will once again help me get through this one more time as this is going to be the last time i will need luck the most in my life, i wished so hard! and once again, LUCK came by, i did the exams fairly well....in the end, the results were a little disappointing to me but its good enough...

college time...without me realising, till today, i find that even during my college times, each time i had exams, luck never didnt leave after all...guiding me through each exam, building my confidence, each time i scraped off fairly well...each time during exams when i tried to study, miraculously, my mind is so flexible, whatever i read, most of it went in to my head...

i just couldnt believe how much luck i had all these years...even the person who reads my palm asked me, do i have people to help me all the time to achieve what i had today? i cant reli recall who did, but then, i think luck was the one who has been my best friend aiding me each time when i had difficulties and help me achive what i want to achieve, realizing my dreams, bringing me to the right path, saved me from hot situations, leading me towards a good life till now...i had so much more compared to my siblings...i really hope that luck will continue to stand by me no matter what happens...cuz no matter how good we are, all the time, 5% of what we does, is LUCK...and i definately say that that 5% helped me alot....throughout these years, i realised one thing, when we are arrogant about something we are good at, we tend to lose them as fast as we had them...maybe it is that arrogance that drives luck away....

well...no matter what, no matter how i wished...nothing can bring back the things that are most precious to me and it will remain as greatest regret of my life...even giving up everything wont be able to turn time around and re-do what has happened...i do miss her alot...i bet she dont even have me in her mind at all right now...but then, this burden is way too hard to be lifted...

pls luck...i cant afford to lose this time...not even one paper...lead me through...i need each and every mark...i dont want to have an additonal collection to the regrets in my life...